(+I Want To Be Forgiven+)

2011-05-21T22:41:00.001+08:00

Things of the Past and Present

2011-05-11T10:07:00.007+08:00

2011-04-30T22:29:00.000+08:00

2011-04-30T15:46:00.003+08:00

Strangers Again

2011-04-29T22:20:00.005+08:00

Angel!

2007-09-21T22:11:00.000+08:00

"i just went to read my gor's blog. kian seong.i saw my name in there again. feel so guilty cz this is the first time i mentioned him.anyway... if u read it... friday i called him right? well i just did it on the spot cuz i like seeing him... ^^ i didn't think much of it.gor, i didn't know how much it meant to you. but im glad i said hi, then. =)it funny laa. cuz you read all those books that say you never know when you're being an angel to somebody. was i an angel then?(im hardly an angel anytime else, but ah kong knows.)"

Thx a lot... Now u noe it means a lot to me lor... Rite Louise? So say more often leh.. Haha.. XD I love hearing it...

Not only Ah Kong noes... I also noe.. Other den being a devil in class, u always treat me as ur fren n u were always dere when i'm in deep trouble n have personal problems.. But to bad ur hp was taken away.. Aiks.. Still...

U're an Angel to me...

Only wifout wings n de ring on ur head... Aiks.. Tings have started for de better since last year ba.. Studied yet Sis? Better start.. U only hav 9 Days LEFT.. Work harder n beat me by getting Straight A's.. I got B for Geo.. T.T

U are my sis, sure boleh wan.. (^(..)^)

And sis... Stop drawing graffiti on ur hands n body... Its poisonous.. (For ur safety)

Gor Gor...

New template

2007-09-20T00:07:00.001+08:00

Just changed my template... Isn't it cool? ^^

When This Everythin Start To Change?

2007-09-14T22:15:00.000+08:00

Recently, a lot of things have changed.. First of all, de neighbour's dog tat i love to pet so much has been taken away to somewhere else.. Dis reli sux.. Who can I express myself too now tat it's gone? Who is going to share my joy n pain...? Just great.

It can't be helped. Just now during tuition, she came. Wif another guy. Isn't tat great? saw dem together at the Curve.. Now tat dey're sitting together chattin, my heart aches.. But luckily i am prepared.. I expected dis.. I knew it would turn out dis way.. And i found out something else...

U noe, i never knew since when I like to lay my head on de table and stare... Stare at de sky outside.. Birds dun fly tat often anymore, de trees just keep growing, unnoticed.. Bees... Well, i see dem often last time, but now, guess not at all... Suddenly, i saw her smile.. Dis happened weeks back gua.. I saw tat cute smile. De same cute smile tat i saw on SY.. I like to look at it. So ever since den, i always lay my head down on de table, hoping to see her smile.. Not becoz it reminds me of SY, but becoz i love to see tat peaceful, unstressful, pure sincerity smile.. Makes my heart melt...

Today Shu Xuan cried. Tat was after recess.. But during recess when i went into de library, i saw tat she was havin problems liao gua. but like my usual self i din bother. When de bell rang, i was walking bak to class after seeing Doraemon wif Choon Hiang. When i reached 4S1, i could see everyone crowding around Shu Xuan... She had cried.. Ish... Something bad must hav happened.. Wei Jie n Boon Wei, Astin n Hui Ching were dere comforting her.. I did not try comforting her coz adding me would just b making a crowd.. N she would not be able to breathe.. So, I just stared and had a thought.. If I cried, will anybody care? Will anybody be dere to comfort me? I wonder...

After skul, outside Dewan Kuliah, i saw Louise.. she said "Kian Seong.." I tot she had something to ask or tell me.. I replied, "Yes?" n she said, "Hi.." She called me just to say Hi.. How nice... Nobody does tat nowadays.. Ppl walk past me, like i'm scary or something.. Even my own juniors tink i'm cannibalistic or something. Its not like i'm going to bite off deir heads when dey do something wrong... But after hearing her calling my name just to say Hi.. I feel tat My question was answered.

"If I cry, will anybody care? Will anybody be dere to comfort me?"

My answer is yes.. N Louise mite be de first...

After skul, round 1.30, went for Frisbee. At first it was F4 vs F5.. It started a bit early, but we lost 3-0 due to mistakes made by my team mates.. I was fed up, n i sat down... I chose not to join dem, coz to me, i tink tat dey're noobs.. After de score went to 4-0, William ask me y i din join.. I told him tat dey were too noob.. He tegur me bak, in a way, sayin tat we were all noob when we all started..

I tot to myself, yea, I was a noob bak den, i started off as a noob. So wat right does it giv me to quit on dem when William never quit on me? After tinkin for a while, i stood bak up n joined de Form 4 back. I was back on de team, wif one order, tat dey would listen to my orders. After ordering dem for a few rounds, till we were up 6-3, i chose to let dem play wifout orders.. Dey were gettin used to de game, to de pressure.. So i let dem enjoy de game.. So did I..

And i tot... If Louise would be de first, den my Frisbee team wud be 2nd.

Reaching home from skul round 5.30.. I chose to go out for Basketball.. I din plan actually, since it rained, i suspected tat de court would've been empty. But still i made my way dere. And suprisingly, dere were many ppl dere. Enuf for playing a game, at least.. And tat's wat we did. N throughout de game, we'd laugh n smile n joke around.. Fool around if we can.. I love being dere.. Dis is like my second family. Besides Frisbee.. Here is where i can let go all of my despair, my pains, my anger...

I listen to my heart as it kept saying, if Louise was de first, Frisbee 2nd, den my Basketball Family wud be 3rd... Yes.. Mayb dere are ppl hu'd care for me... Rite?

Enjoyment..

2007-09-10T21:44:00.000+08:00

Recently, i guess i have made up my mind to smile more often. To not think bout de past, but of de present and de future.. To smile at challenges to come. To smile at my dumb actions in de past. To smile... and let it all go..

Dose were de days, de memories.. Dey're never gone, but never are dey going to disturb me anymore.. I found two things that i enjoy de most n always feel happy about... Exams, definitely a NO...

1. Being in de van after skul. Going into de van jus rite after skul is something i look forward everyday. It is a time where we can share ideas, experiences n stuff.. There's never any pressure in de van, just pure entertainment. And i mean it. Dere was dis once when we were gambling on Euro 2004. Every bet contained excitement. There were small bets though. And we even played Poker Cards. We would always fight for our places to get to play poker cards. Besides tat, de whole group of us often went to 7/11 to get ice creams or chips . Together we shared many stupid ice creams n chips. And den dere were de luckier times. When Uncle's van would go haywire. We had it a couple of times before. Once at crystal crown hotel. We were stuck dere for 45 minutes or so. So, hehe.. We went one floor by one floor. We circled through the whole building. How fun is tat?? ^^ Once, de van broke down on de way to skul. Uncle sent us to de LRT station. Haha, muahaha.. We couldn't stop laughing when de smart ass lead a bunch of girls from de same van to de wrong place. We were heading to skul, n dey were, well, off course... XD Stuck in jams, tat's wat many ppl hate. But we love it. When it gets dark enough, we would start telling ghost stories.. Some were scary, others were just pure lame... :3

2. Playing basketball near my house. I totally enjoy playing wif de elder ppl. Dey always makes it fun. We have all sort of competitions. We often fought to see who was de better shooter. Each one gets to throw a ball, and if it goes in and de next person does not, de loser will have to do some actions. So far i made a few ppl do sit-ups, dig nose 10 times, push ups, whack own buttock 10 times, pull ear 10 times.. But not always did i win. I lost once, and had to roll on de floor from one end till half court.. But dere were other ppl hu wud join me. Some of them are gangsters, dey smoke, dey swear, use vulgar words, but still they are nice. They look after de younger ppl, treats everyone as deir siblings. I love that. Its like my second family. Dey give me courage to play de game i love...

15 years old- The sickness creeping up

2007-09-07T22:18:00.000+08:00

Sign
I think I've been losing weight lately.Is it from skipping meals because of the loads of homework and science project?I can't put my thought into action so I worry.I blame myself but there seems to be no progress.My energy just continues to drain.I want to gain a little more weight.Starting tomorrow, I need to act more according to the plan I wrote out before.
It was drizzling today. Walking to school holding a heavy bag and to make that worse, an umbrella, is a pain.As I was having these negative thoughts, my knees popped and I fell forward at a narrow road about 100 meters from my house.I hit my chin pretty badly. As I gently slid my hand on my chin, I felt the sticky blood covering my hands. I picked up the scattered bag and umbrella, turned back, and headed home.My mom came out from the inside saying,"Did you forget something? You better hurry or you're going to be late.""What's wrong?"No words came out and all I could do was cry.My mom quickly got a towel and wiped my face which was covered with blood. I felt the sand cutting through the wound.She said,"We're gonna have to go to the doctor," and quickly helped me change into clean clothes, placed a band aid over my cut, and jumped into the car.I got 2 stitches without any pain killer.I grit my teeth and dealt with the pain, because it was my fault for being clumsy.But more than that... I'm sorry mom for making you take a day off work.I thought to myself that maybe my hands didn't help me when I fell, because I'm kind of slow... as I looked at my aching chin in the mirror. But I'm glad it was under my chin. My future would be dark if a scar was left in a place where people can see.
My grades in P.E.7th grade= B8th grade= C9th grade= DI'm so frustrated! I guess I need to try harder.I was hoping that the circuit training I did during summer vacation would help a little, but I guess not.Well, I suppose it's because I didn't continue it long enough (the voice from the shadow= Exactly!)
In the morning, inside the kitchen where a slight light and breeze was slipping through the window with the yellow lace curtain, I cried."How come I'm the only one who is not athletic?"Today, there is going to be a test on the balance beam.My mom covered her eyes and said, "But Aya, it's okay because you are smart.You can just stick to whatever subject you enjoy and make use of that in the future. You're good at English, so you should master that. English is an international language so I'm sure it will be of good use. So don't worry if you get a D in P.E..."My tears had stopped falling. There was something left for me.
I shouldn't be such a crybaby.My body won't move the way I want it to. Is it being anxious, because I skipped doing my homework that I can finish in 5 hours each day? No, that's not it, something in my body is starting to breaking down. I'm scared!My heart feels as though its being squeezed. I wanna exercise. I wanna run. I wanna study. I wanna write neatly.
"Namida no Toka-ta (A tear's toccata)" is such a good song. I fell in love with it. When I eat while listening to that song, it makes the food taste even more delicious.
This is a discussion about my little sister.All this time, I only noticed my sister's mean side, but I started to think that she is actually really nice. The reason for this, is because when we walk to school, my little brother leaves me behind and he just walks his own pace, but my sister walks with me.Even when we cross the bridge, she holds my bag for me and says, "Make sure to hold onto the rails."
Slowly, my summer vacation mood is fading away.After cleaning up dinner, I was about to go upstairs and my mom said, "Aya, come sit over here."My mom looked very serious and I was getting nervous, thinking about what I was going to get punished for."Aya, lately your body is constantly looking like you're going to fall forward, and you walk very unsteadily moving form side to side, do you notice that? I've been watching and I'm worried. Let's go see a doctor."I asked, "...which hospital?""Just leave it to me, I'll look for a trustworthy place."My tears started to fall endlessly. I wanted to say "Thank you so much mom, and I'm sorry to make you worried," but I could not make any words come out of my mouth.I wondered if my clumsiness is from staying up late at night, eating at different times, but thinking that there is something wrong with me and that's why I have to go see a doctor, left me to do nothing but cry. My eyes are starting to hurt from crying too much.

Winning

2007-09-07T22:03:00.000+08:00

I do not know when but i have started wanting to win games. Yes. Basketball and Frisbee games. Any competitions or just playing for fun... Last time, it never mattered if I win or lose. All that i could do was give my best.

Now it isn't so. I have began to be serious. Serious in every game. I treat every game as my last. Giving my 100%.. No one can give more den 100%.. Losing when i have given everything makes me regret badly for not performing better. But losing because of a careless teammate? That i cant forgive. Teammates that tend to play around or not able to cope up with my own abilities, I can rarely forgive. I know that i may not be able to cope up wif others too, but tat's just my opinion..

For instance, dere's dis fren whom i've known for four years now.. starting we just learnt frisbee and we were noobs. But throughout de years, i've improved and so has he. But i have de stamina, de speed tat he lacks completely. And during competitions, it remains a very big problem and variable which will affect the team..

Teammates who cant cope up, i find it is rather difficult to play with them. I like team mates who are strong. Not so dey can cover my weaknesses, but because of the thrill i get when i play with dem. I can train myself and at de same time, i enjoy every moment of the game. I love playing with those who are stronger and skillful.

Playing with the weak ones have begun to make me mad. If my team doesn't win becoz my team mates are weak. I deno. I'd get mad. I wud not express my anger unless when it is a very obvious mistake only. Dis is called KiaSu gua.. ??

14 years old- My family

2007-09-03T21:37:00.000+08:00

Mary died...
Today is my birthday. I grew quite alot. I think I need to thank my mom and dad. I need to get much better grades, and be more healthy so I won't make them sad. In order to do that, I want to make this beginning of my youth important, without any regrets.
I'm going camping the day after tomorrow. I need to finish my homework so I won't have to worry about it.Go!Go!Aya!
Tiger, the fierce dog next door ripped Mary's head off, killing her.Mary who was very small, approached the monstrous Tiger with a friendly wagging tail. I yelled with all my might, "Mary no! Come back over here!" but...Mary must be frustrated... she died without being able to say a word. If she wasn't born a dog, she wouldn't have died so fast. Mary please be happy somwehere else!
The new house is finished.The large rooms on the eastside of the second floor is me and my sister's room. The ceieling is white. The wall is wooden brown. The scenery outside the window looks different than usual. I'm happy that I have my own room, but it seems too spacious and lonely. I wonder if I'll be able to sleep tonight.
Starting off all refreshed!
1. I'll wear t-shirts and pants(its easier to move around).

2. Chores to do everyday-- water the lawn, pick weeds, check for bugs behind the leaves of the one tomato vine I planted. Also check the leaves of the chrysanthemum for cockroaches, and if i find any, take care of it right away.

3.Not to slack on my homework

4.Other than that, write in my diary everyday.I'm going to make sure I do all of these.

My Family
Dad 41 years old. Sometimes he has a bad temper, but he's nice.Mom 40 years old. I look up to her, but her straight forwardness scares me.Me 14 years old. In the beginning stage of adolesence. The age that's hard to deal with. If I describe myself with one word it would be, crybaby. I'm full of emotions. I'm naive and I easily get mad and easily start laughing.My little sister 12 years old. I see her as a rival in both school and personality...although lately I've been pushed around by her.My little brother 11 years old. He's a tricky one... a little scary. He's younger than me but sometimes turns into an older brother. He's also like a parent to Koro(the dog).My youngest brother 10 years old. He has a wild imagination, but he can be a little careless.My youngest sister 2 years old. She has curly hair that she got from my mom, and her face is from my dad (especially her eyes... its what it looks like when the clock hits 8:20) She is very cute.

1 Litre of Tears

2007-09-03T21:34:00.000+08:00

This is the first chapter of Aya's diary... I hope I did a decent job (^^;) but I'm going to put alot of work into this so that people will really understand what Aya went through and the strong message that she left for everyone!

Kitou Aya is a young highschooler who finds out that she has Spinocerebellar Atrophy. This disease causes the person to lose control over his or her body. Because the person retains all of her mental ability, this disease is like a prison. Through her struggles, Aya finds words to inspire herself to become strong and cope with the disease and has subsequently inspired millions of readers to overcome their own strife. This is her story.

All Hopes Not Lost

2007-09-02T21:03:00.000+08:00

She hasn't accepted de guy as her BF yet.. I still have chance gua.. Yikes.. But tat night watching fireworks wif Kev n HuiLing was fun.. Thx u guys, for makin it even thou it was last minute...

There are people who cares...

2007-08-25T00:08:00.000+08:00

I've noticed even after so many things that have happened.. There are still people who cares about me.. Let me list out a few. Xin Lin, who have always looked out at how I was feeling.. Cared about me, and helped me out as a friend. She's starting to learn Frisbee. If she's good, which she will be, we'll take her to the competitions held at University Malaya... Kevang, the only person who knows the truth about who I liked. ****** I like telling her my problems, cause we're from different schools now. No strings attached. And she's nice. Jia Da, who has lightened me up at times when I was down. Louise, who'd always be there to listen, to help out to share her problems with me since Form 3.. My neighbourhood friends who would swear very often. Playing soccer with them is always enjoying and funny. There's never a dull moment with them. Their sarcasm makes them funny. My basketball friends, frisbee friends... They've accompanied me in the games that I love the most. I enjoy the thrill and challenge of being with them.

How long has it been. 1 month? 1/2 month? I can't remember.. But finally I'm gradually forgetting her. Maybe its a good thing. But I won't forget the great moments we've shared. And let me reassure you, she's not my GF..

But there's one thing that gives me the most joy once every week. And that would be looking at her smile. Yup. Her smile. SuYin's smile. It's so cute and sweet, really makes my heart meltttt.... Aww.. I really hope she has more credit cause I want to talk to her every single day, single minute, single second... I.... want to watch her smile again. That hope will turn out soon. Soon...
Soon=two weeks time.. T.T (wat m i s'pose 2 do till den??)

Hurt...

2007-08-12T22:24:00.000+08:00

I'm hurt in the heart... Deeply hurt and scarred.. How long will dis one take to heal? I wonder, I keep askin myself.. It definitely wun b soon.. Dis will take some time.. And I'm not prepared yet.. I.... I.... It has already happened, before and now again... Only the victims are different...

Rite dis moment, I reli feel like crying out loud.. But who's dere to listen to me cry, to comfort me, to watch me as i cry to sleep?? Who but myself?? I've known you for quite some time... Mayb not long, but long enough... to b close frens.. And it still had to turn out dis way...

2007-08-08T22:05:00.000+08:00

I Love My Life

2007-08-08T22:01:00.000+08:00

I have forgiven myself. And I have been forgiven. And Busou Renkin dam ROX!! And, I Love Her...

First Break-In

2007-07-29T22:12:00.000+08:00

I was walking home with my friend, Aaron that evening. He wanted to walk me back to my house. Fine, I needed the company anyway. As we were about to reach my house, we noticed that the alarm was already ringing. I thought that no big deal, must have been some rodent that triggered the alarm. But as we walked nearer to my house, I noticed the gate opened and the wooden door widely opened too. Something has happened, my parents aren't back yet. I ran all the way, leaving my friend behind.

Oh no.. Someone had broke into our house. Not cool.. So not cool. I rushed into the house, glancing at the broken wooden door and padlock. I turned on the lights and fan. I switched off the alarm. The burglar could still be inside.. I checked the ground floor, inspecting so that no ones there. But the weird thing was that nothing had been stolen. The whole place wasn't even messy. How funny is that..

I waited for the guards who guard my housing area to come. After reaching, they took out their sticks and I followed them upstairs.. Guess what I was holding.. Two badminton rackets.. Haha.. I followed two guards cautiously to the second floor. We searched and ransacked the whole place and couldn't find any trace of the burglar.

Every moment of opening the door to the rooms was thrilling. I was nervous and scared, yet I felt thrilled cause catching burglars makes me cool, I thought. Things like this have not ever happened in my house for over 16 years. To tell you the truth, I was actually working on a project using my laptop.. I didn't switch it off nor save my work. I left it on so that I could continue when I came back. Knowing that my house was broken into, I was thinking, Shit! My laptop. My work. Everything. Luckily it was still there where I left it. I felt relieved.

Giving a summary, I would say that the burglar was afraid and frightened after hearing the alarm. Maybe he hadn't known about the alarm.. Thank god I armed it before I left the house. Otherwise... You know ba..

After making a police report and stuff, everyone was tired. My parents whom rushed back from the shopping mall to see how I was slept early. I was left alone, in my room finishing my project.

For the first time, I always thought that this house was impregnable. A fortress which no one could ever invade. But after this incident, I couldn't help but feel that this home sweet home is now vulnerable. Vulnerable to any intruder. Vulnerable to anything.

2007-07-27T22:12:00.000+08:00

1. What is more difficult: lookinginto someones eyes when telling howyou feel, or looking into someones eyes when they tell you how they feel?

Looking into someones eyes when telling how you feel

2. Think of the last time you wereangry. Why were you angry?

Yesterday, coz Marvin poked my back

3. You will die in three minutes. Lastcall?

Pizza!! (no la... erm, my Kai Mui, Louise)

4. If you could do anything OR wishanything, what would it be?

I wish to be forgiven for all my mistakes

5. You can have one of the followingtwo things: trust or love.

Trust

6. You are walking to work. There is adog drowning in the canal on the sideof the street. Your boss told you ifyou are late one more time yourefired. Do you save the dog?

If the dog's cute.. (no la, i'll still help n call in sick for de day)

7. Would you or have you everblackmailed someone?

I would n i have

8. Think of the last person who youknow that died. You have the chance togive them 1 hour of life back, but youhave to give one year of your life. Doyou do it?

Nope, not him.. (coz he's not related to me.. If he is, perhaps i would)

9. Are you the kind of friend that youwould want to have as a friend?

I hope so

10. Does sex = love?

Never

11. Are you old fashioned?

A bit here and there

12. Would you marry someone if theywere unable to have sex?

If i reli love her

13. What would be harder for you, totell someone you love them or that youdo not love them back?

that i do not love them back

14. What do you think would be thehardest thing for you to give up?

My frens, my Kai Mui, my tuition teachers and my pillow..

15. Romantic love, when was the lasttime you told someone you loved them?

Erm, 3 weeks ago.

16. If you had to go back in time andchange one thing, if you HAD to, evenif you have "no regrets" what wouldyou change?

Prevent what happened between me and Louise

17. Imagine. It is a dark night, youare alone, it is raining outside, youhear someone walking around outsideyour window. WHO do you wish was therewith you?

Bo Yuan

18. Would you give a homeless personCPR if they were dying?

Yes

19. You are holding onto yourgrandmother's dying hand and the handof a newborn that you do not know asthey hang over the edge of a cliff.You have to let one go to save theother which one would it be?

I'd pull both of dem back up n let me b de one dropping down

20. When and how was the last time youtold someone how you REALLY feel?

1 week ago

21. Do you tell anyone or everyone youare going to die?

Yes, year 2012... Gaia project.. Not just me, millions will perish together

22. What do you do with your remainingdays?

Tell her how great it was to hav her as my Kai Mui.. Look back at my life

23. Would you be afraid?

Yes, coz i'm not sure if i have forgiven myself.. Tat's wat which frightens myself de most

Saying YES!! (part 3)

2007-07-25T22:08:00.000+08:00

For what I thought was going to be the best days of my life has turned out to be the worst... Ain't that great? It turned out to be like living hell from saying YES to questions that you normally say NO... Here are simple questions that could destroy your lives.. It already did mine..

"Kevin, would you clean the blackboard please?"

"Kevin, can you answer this question please?"

"Kevin, can you help me do this thing?"

"Kevin, can you help me wash the toilet?" I found stuffings in the toilet bowl.

"Kevin, would you please shut the ***** up?" I did, but I threw a punch in his face and got scolded for it...

"Kevin, go **** yourself..." Well, I know that wasn't a question.. But still...

By reading the above questions, you now know that eventually a lot people has found out my secret. They knew I would have said NO to cleaning the blackboard. They knew I would have said NO to cleaning the toilet.. Saying YES to these questions has aroused suspicion and one day they tested it out on me...

"Can you lend me 10 bucks without me having to return?" Sarah asked.

"Ye..........Yessss...." Oh jeez, what did I get myself into?? This is just great...

And from that day onwards, most of the people knew my secret.. Soon after, more and more people asked me for money everyday and I couldn't ask them back for it.. They got smart, I went broke.. But not everything is as bad as I thought.. I got smart too.. Too smart. Everyday, I only brought 2 bucks with me. So 2 bucks was the maximum limit I could give to anyone..

"Hey, give me 20 bucks, YES-freak.. I don't have to pay you back, right?" Billy the bully asked.. Heh Heh... My first victim.

"Well, I suppose... Yes... Yes I would love to give you 20 bucks without needing you to pay me back... But as you see, (took out my wallet and showed him) I only have 2 bucks only.. I'm sorry..." I smiled back at him.. Not showing any regret nor fear, but excitement and enjoyment on playing my first YES-prank..

"Wise guy eh?" Billy rolled his right sleeve up.

"(gulp) Yes..."

"Think you're clever huh...?" Apparently, I did for a moment back there. Now? Not so anymore...

"(gulp) Yes... (gulp)" Not good...

You know what? Bully sucks.. They think that they're powerful because their size is bigger than us.. Thanks to that idiot Billy, I went home with a... Yes... A black eye... Yes, it wasn't fun.. Yes, it was painful.. Yes, is not the best way to answer all questions...

Saying YES!! (part 2)

2007-07-23T21:04:00.000+08:00

Haiz.. Another tiring day.. I went back to class after helping the teacher to carry books back to her office. I'm tired now.. I need a rest. I reached for my seat and sat down. Before I could lay my head on top of my hands, someone called out to me...

"Kevin, hey..." yelled out Sarah.

"Yesss........ Saraaaaaaaahhhh..." I replied, catching my breath..

What does she want now? She has ruined most of my days in school.. I've tasted her cooking, helped her finish her painting, spoke to her even though she's a bad chatter... I've practically wasted most of my time and strength on her...

"Hey, I brought you some cookies.. Can you help me test them? I just made them yesterday..." she asked politely.

If it was in the past, before I made the oath to say YES, I would certainly, without hesitation deny her request. But now I have to stick to it. Jeez.. This would be the worst time saying YES since I promised myself to do this.

"Erm...... err........ YES?"

"Alright!! Thanks... Here take two and tell me how it tastes like..." she smiled. I wasn't.

I took two out of her tupperware.. Not to mention this means breaking the school rules.. No eating in class.. I slowly picked up the piece of cookie, my hand was shaking. Not because of the aftershock from carrying all those heavy books, but the thought of having to eat whatever that Sarah made..

I slowly placed it before my mouth. Should I take a smell? Should I trick her and told her I'm not interested anymore? Should I pretend I dropped it? No, that wouldn't work, she still has about 15 pieces remaining in her tupperware.. Ah, what the heck. I should just swallow it and get it done with..

"Well, what're you waiting for?" Sarah asked, looking at me as I stared at the cookie..

I gave her one last glance, thinking about food poisoning.. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all. I dropped the cookie into my mouth, and chewed. Sarah looked on, with a wide smile on her face.. That doesn't help at all..

As I slowly chewed on, I noticed that I wanted to barf.. It tasted of mushroom.. I hate mushrooms, and who the hell uses mushroom as an ingredient for their cookies.. Oh jeez.. I'm trying hard to swallow it, but it was too dry..

"Does it taste good?" Sarah just had to ask. Can't she tell by the look on my face. She really has the guts..

"Yesh...." I replied.. Trying to prevent the food from dropping out of my mouth. I really wished it would though.

"You sure?" Sarah asked for assurance.

What is wrong with her.. Can't she already tell that I'm suffering?? I just raised my hand and showed her a thumb up.. Another hand was covering my mouth. I felt like vomitting. Tears had slowly dripped out of my eyes.. It was hard retaining them inside my eye bags.. Yes!! Yes!! Yes, I'm going to die of food poisoning.. Yes I'm going to heaven. Saying yes to something like this should get me to heaven. I've been a good boy recently.. And YES, I hate ur cookie..

I found my water bottle inside my bag.. I took it out and finished half of the water inside to take away the taste from my mouth.. Did help a little.. I coughed a few times..

"Why were you crying?" Sarah was curious..

"I was just touched, cause you made cookies for me.." That was such a lie.. But I didn't wanted to hurt her feelings..

"Wow, I'll make more cookies for...."

"Hey, what gave you the idea of using mushroom as an ingredient?" I interrupted.

"Oh, I just found it in the kitchen.. So I just used it..." Oh great.. And I thought it was some sort of Secret Recipe..

"Blek... *cough*... Great idea.." Showing her a thumb up again..

"I'll make more for you tomorrow.. You will taste it, won't you?" She asked delightedly.

"........."

"Come on!! Say something..."

"........"

"Aww, Kevin......."

"..............yes.............." I regretted alot... XP

2007-07-22T22:45:00.000+08:00

I'm being tagged by someone.. Not gonna name it..

=DSeven things you plan to do before you die

1. Tell her i love her

2. Say i miss u to my frens

3. Kiss her

4. Tell my Kai Mui, Kai Di, Kai Gor, Kai Jie tat dey were great

5. Listen to someone say tat dey like me

6. Watch FFX once more

7. Watch FFX-2 again

Seven things you can do

1. Eat

2. Sleep

3. Play

4. Dance (not reli)

5. Make frens

6. Sing a song (sux thou)

7. Joke around

Seven celebrity crushes

1. (not reli interested)

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

Seven most repeated phrases/words

1. Kanninya Lao Bu

2. Sheesh

3. Jeez

4. Wtf

5. Wei

6. Stupid

7. I'm sorry

Seven physical traits you look for in the opposite sex

1. Not taller

2. Nice

3. No need too pretty

4. Carin

5. Touchin

6. Kind

7. Doesn't want sex too much XD

Seven tags to go to

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

Three names you go by

1. Kevin

2. Ayori

3. Seong Seong

Three physical things you like about yourself

1. Not too tall

2. Not too sexy (never was)

3.

Three physical things you don't like about yourself

1. Pimples

2. No six pack

3. Too fat

Three things that scare you

1. My imagination

2.

3.

Three drinks (alcoholic or non)

1. Leong Cha

2. Shandy

3. Milo

Three of your everyday essentials

1. Money

2. Food

3. Friends

Three things you're wearing right now

1. Shirt

2. Long pants

3. Nth else...

Three of your favourite movies

1. Coach Carter

2. FFX

3. FFX-2

Two truths and a lie

1. I liked her once, still do i guess

2. I havent forgotten bout her

3. I'm gay

Three things about the opposite sex that appeal to you

1. Remembers me

2. Cares for me

3. Helps me

Three careers that you are considering, or have considered

1. Public Relations officer

2. Computer Engineering

3. Computer Programmer

Three people you would like to see take this quiz now

1. Xin Lin (she already did it)

2. Chum Jia Da

3. Kevang

Today all kena fried in class by Miss Ong.

2007-07-20T22:31:00.000+08:00

Walau, i cant believe it... For de first time half of my class kena fry by Miss Ong.. 22 of dem, includin KT n PKT... Notorious Ah Ben n Wei Ren... Dese two no hope.. Sure die wan since dey became AJK in our class.. Miss Ong must b havin her PMS gua, today like volcano eruption.. Luckily i finished my graph.. Lucky me.. No la.. I reli did use my heart to finish it.. Teacher got warn tat she wan check yesterday.. So, kesian lar dose 22 ppl standin outside de door.. All kena masuk Blue card summore.. Sheesh...

But u noe wat, I hav done a veli stupid ting too. On thursday.. Somethin i din noticed n went into Blue Card for my stupidness.. I took 2 Chemistry text book from my locker.. I din take de practical book.. Smart eh.. Teacher asked us to flip de page, i did not.. She told me to flip. I flipped to de page n looked.. Wait, i tot teacher has already taught us dis? its way back liao.. Den i noticed!! Wait, dis looks alot like my textbook.. I turned to de front cover n looked... Dam, i couldn't have been any dumber.. I showed Pn Chan my book.. "teacher, i have two chemistry textbooks..." the practical was in my locker.. Jeez.. De whole class laughed at me.. I did not feel embarassed, it was kinda funny tat i smiled back at teacher, who was starin angrily bak at me... She shook her head.. "Kian Seong... Kian Seong..."

And tat was how my stupidness made my name in de Blue card.. Aww sheesh, ish... Becoz tat happened yesterday, so i finished all my homework.. See? How smart.. Now i din kena Blue Card, din stand in front.. KEKEKEKE!!!

Tonite BM tuition pula, teacher made alot of fuss bout me.. Wats his problem... He made jokes bout me.. I made a few back at him lor... Blek... XP hu ask En Zin to make fun of me... But... aiyar, he dai sei wan lar... Always say i Lan C...

Saying YES!! (part 1)

2007-07-18T21:00:00.000+08:00

As a kid, I have always liked the idea of using crazy ideas... I used to get alot of crazy ideas from friends, books, TV shows... Here's one that particularly made me crazy.

Saying Yes

And so, I've decided.. From today on, no matter what questions I face, I will face them, straighten up my head and tell them "YES" right in the face.. I needed something weird to pass my days. And now I have it. Saying "YES". I'm wondering how that would make my day? Wouldn't it be so cool? Saying yes everytime..

~"Hey handsome..." says a girl to me.

"Yes...!" I answer back.~

I was fantasizing. But that would be nice too.. I smiled inside.. Alright, this has got to stop.. I'm going crazy just thinking of all the positive things that will happen to me when I say "YES".. I think it's a very good idea.. I got it out from a book that's called 'Enlight myself'. Page 36, topic 'Saying Yes'..

~ -Say yes to all challenges that comes your way.

-Say yes to your friends invitations.

-Say yes to tasks.

-Say yes to things that you normally say no to.

-Say yes to Everything!~

That's what the book says. As dumb and innocent as I am, I am going to follow it. Starting with tomorrow. I smiled, maybe I'll start tonight. As soon as I thought of it, my mom walked right into my room.

"Son, it's late. Go to sleep.." Mom ordered. But it's only 8.30pm..

"Yes! Mom!" I replied. If I had to enlighten myself, then I'll have to take every chance I get. Just to say Yes...

The next morning, I started off fresh. Waking up with a smile. A 'YES' smile.. I stepped into school, predicting all the opportunities that I can gladly say yes to. During assembly, Jerome asked if I could lend him my workbook. Gladly, without any hesitation I said yes. He needed my help. And I'm saying yes to it..

Then, out of nowhere, a prefect catches me. It just so happens that my fingernails were too long.. That's not good.

"Excuse me, can you please stand at the back?" The prefect asked.

"Yes..." I said it with a low tone. That wasn't what I really had in mind.. I had to stick with my philosophy anyway. Well, let me just take my bag and head to the back..

After cutting my nails, I made it back to class. But I was late. Teacher had already started without me.. I went in, told teacher what had happened and went back to my seat. As soon as I sat, teacher called out my name.. She asked me to help her bring her things from her office. Ain't that great? Her office is like miles away and she asked me to carry 96 books back into class. I can't imagine it.. Saying yes has just drove me into a series of negative results, negative consequences... But I'm not going to give up yet... Not yet...

Meeting Old Frens

2007-07-15T21:28:00.000+08:00

Wow, today I went to 1U to meet up wif Win Xen, whom i hav not seen for 5 years.. How long is tat.. i reli missed him... Me, him n Calvin used to be together everyday durin standard 5... I missed those days.. He has grown so much taller, handsome n he speaks Swedish.. How cool iz tat? Din Siep-er Ashlay.. & Youg De Skar-teh... Wanna noe wat it means? den find me... Muahaha... I learned those two.. It's very important in everyday life.. I waited for a while before i went to Vietnam Kitchen to join Win Xen, Victor n Ku Jian Hwa for lunch... De lunch was nice, but Win Xen insisted on paying for it.. Thanks Win Xen, i owe u one.. I'll belanja you one day.. I promise.. ^^

Walau, de worse part was, dey went n bought tickets of Die Hard 4.0 wifout my share... Me n Kevang were left alone.. We were de only ones wifout de 18-SG tickets.. How uncool was tat.. As soon as dey went for de show, me n Kevang decided to walk around, AIMLESSLY.. U hav no idea how many ppl i saw.. Jiunn Heng, Li Kee (hehe), Neo Cheng Ze, Ang Wei Liang, Kai Pin, Isaac n many many more.. Gosh, 2day crowded wif alot of ppl i know..

Walkin without any destination was borin.. So, we decided to sit down n hav a drink. At Coffee Bean, Kevang introduced de ULTIMATE.. It was nice, n i bot her a cup.. It was expensive, RM11++ for one... But its ok if spent on a long lost fren gua... ^^ We sat down n chatted, waitin for Phua Sze.. Den, not long later Pua Sze came.. OMG!! Guava looked totally different from de one i knew durin std 6.. She's so tanned, hair so long. Wearing contacts.. OH JEEZ, amazing man.. Totally diff... Totally, de same.. Her sound still de same.. I can tell. No matter how much she's changed, her voice will give it all away.. N she is as blur as be4, keep bumping into ppl... Jeez...

And so wif her arrival we waited till 4.45 for de guy's show to end.. Den, de 6 of us went to Yippee Cup for drinks.. Guava had erm.. Maggi mee.. Sad to say.. We chatted n laughed, it was a fun day. Reunitin wif old frens, n frens tat i've missed... Frens tat i hav lost contact over de years.. Real frens, true frens.. Talkative frens thou...

Years does not matter, its de friendship tat does. A strong friendship does not break easily no matter distance nor time. For years it has been, yet we seem to get closer each time we see each other.. Phua Sze Yuan, Lim Win Xen, Kevang, frens till de end!! Ku Jian Hwa, u r my new fren n dis frenship will last 4ever too...

Ku Jian Hwa posing for de second time.. Haha..

Lim Win Xen, Kevang n Guava.. XP

A day at Berjaya Times Square...

2007-07-14T22:45:00.000+08:00

Today I woke up very early, as early as 5.30 am just to get ready for the BIG EVENT... Prepared I made my way to school.. There I meet up with all my fellow members of YE before we headed to Berjaya Times Square in a bus..

At Berjaya Times Square, (we reached round 7.45am), we were the third school that arrived there.. There were 2 ppl from the other 2 schools that arrived earlier than us... We had 26 of us, and 6-7 teachers.. If there were to be a gang fight, we'd win without doubt.. Too bad there wasn't one... Right away we decorated our stalls with all the stuff we brought n the stocks.. Man, we had alot of stocks.. Had many problems finding place to place them.. XP After we had finished decorating our stall, we were all then divided into shifts.. OmG! Me, Yew Chin, Fiona, SUm Hooi, Jia Pei n Hui Ying were in the last shift.. Which starts at 3pm.. So we went crazy as much as we could.. We went to the Theme Park.. It costed us RM25 per person.. Hella Expensive.. But i'll tell you, it was totally worth it..

Let me tell u bout de rides we sat... Bumper cars, de first game we played when we were in.. We were like lunatics driving around. Bumping one another.. The whole place was just filled with the 6 of us... COOL MAN!! Next we had two spinning games.. They turn and spin around as you slowly go up and come down.. Not so exciting though, the ride was a bit long.. Next we played the trainlike tingy.. It looked like some slow train moving game.. But hell, dun let its look fool u.. Me and Yew Chin were fools to tink tat we knew everythin.. When the thing started, it went slow.. Me and Yew Chin chatted, both sitting at opposite ends of the seat.. Den it went faster n faster.. It went so fast that Yew Chin slided to my side due to Inertia or Momentum.. I myself was pushed against the edge of the seat too.. The seat was a bit long, and since Yew Chin had slided next to me, and we were both bored, we pretended to French Kiss.. Fake thou, totally did not do it.. Sum Hooi and Fiona hu were sitting right behind us, saw thru the whole ting.. And they were like, "Yer, Gays, i'm going to vomit..." Ha ha, tat was so fun!! Next we took it to the Space Oddysey ride.. De ROLLER COASTER... Wow, tat was wat we had been waiting for the whole time.. Sitting it was fun, n frightening before it started.. We flipped upside down for 3 times.. 1st time being de scariest, 2nd time being the fastest and 3rd time being de ending part. It was non-stop excitement n thrill for me.. We were so high that we took the same ride again. We ran as fast as we could out thru de exit and back into the line for the next session. Wow, it was so freakin cool, takin de same ride again.. I sat at the back, different experience, scarier, cause u never noe when u're goin to flip.. Heck, u cant even see de front, n when its too late to notice, u've flipped over... Dam syok..!! After that we went for the DNA MIXER!! For all of de theme park die hards, dis is a MUST-RIDE!! Made me very dizzy, even until now.. Its like sitting in Motion Master, sitting down on chairs. Den its started. Comin alive, it flipped us over 180 degree n we suspended in tat position for like 3 seconds or so.. Heck tat was scary!! Then we flipped forward n backwards over n over, all which were very very scary.. I'm still frightened thinkin bout it now..

After that, we had Kenny Roger Roasters.. Thx to Citibank n Shian, we had free Kenny Roger Roasters.. It tasted so good.. I wished i had seconds n a bigger stomach.. De size of a tyre i hope.. After tat, me, Yew Chin, Xin Lin n Jia Pei went window shopping.. We went to a shop called Ed & Ed... It sold many types of stupid shirts.. I'll give u an example.. Remember de computer tingy "intel inside"? dey replaced it with "Insane inside".. Some were "I smell inside", and the rest were "Idiot inside"... The was a superman symbol shirt.. But under tat symbol were words sayin "Spermman", how cool was tat?! ^^ I bought a shirt, for RM29.90 tat says "When u smile de whole world smiles with you" on the front, at the back it says "When u fart, u stand alone.." Its funny after u look at my shirt... LoL...

When it was my turn for de shift, we totally did many crazy tings.. We tried sellin to many ppl, ppl hu were visitin or shoppin dere n competitors from de same project.. It was fun, bargaining prizes n challenging to try to attract customer's attention n persuade dem to buy sumtin.. Yes, it certainly was very fun... After that, all of us had McDonalds.. Compliments of Shian n Citibank, the chicken foldover was delicious, so was de fries n DIET COKE... Thx Shian.. N I noe tat u hav a gf liao... Oopps, i mentioned it loudly in the lift.. Kekeke..

After tat we took de same bus back to skul.. It was inside de bus tat we went reli crazy.. Or rather just dem.. I was sorta complainin coz my free Kit Kats were taken by ppl.. N thx to Hua Yen, Jie Yi, Ee Lynn, Shi Ping n Yew Chin, i was de "KIT KAT JOKE OF DE DAY"... Dey said tat i'm too much of a Kit Kat guy n tat by givin me a Kit Kat i'll strip my first button. Giv me a whole stack of it n i'll go naked running round de skul... Well, after a stressful n tirin day, i dun mind being de joke.. I even told dem tat if i were given any Kit Kat's den, i'll strip rite now.. Nobody had any, they finished it.. Thank god, for a moment i was afraid of wat i said thou.. Hahaha.. N Jowynia, u had taken 2 Kit Kats from me... walao-eh, sure get diabetes wan.. Eler, take my Kit Kat.. But seriously it was dam fun in de bus n stuff.. I'll always remember dis nite..

Here's a few picture of me...

Xin Lin wearin de bunny rabbit tingy.. Ha ha, I was tryin to show off my shirt but too small de pic, cant c...

Me and Jia Pei, I was wearin de Bunny tingy for like 2 minutes like tat..

Tryin to show off Axcellor.. Jowynia, u took 2 of my Kit Kat.. Evil..

Telling A Girl I Like Her (part 2) end

2007-07-12T22:41:00.000+08:00

I waited anxiously for those words to come out of her mouth... Every breath I took makes my heart beat faster. My hands were freezing cold, filled with cold sweat. I'm still waiting. Waiting for an answer, waiting to be accepted, waiting for her 4 words..

"I am very sorry..." Yen Pin said without looking at me in the eye.

Wait, what? How? Is that it? Are those... It can't be... the 4 words? I looked at her with disbelief.. Eyes wide opened, jaws dropped to de max, hands stopped shivering. I rubbed my eyes with my cold hands. I can't believe this. Why is this happening? Why am I rubbing my eyes? It's not that I can't believe what I'm saying, it's that I can't believe what I'm hearing.. Slowly, I moved my palms away from my eyes and digged my ear. Just a bit. So that I'm sure about what I've just heard. Still working... Not malfunctioning yet. Great!! Wait, not cool.. Totally not cool. That means it's all real.. What Yen Pin just said was real...

No... I just couldn't accept it. Maybe she's just playing a joke, a trick on me. To see if I was sincere enough.. Maybe she was just fooling around, just to see the reaction on my face.. Maybe... Maybe only...

"I'm sorry.. Were those the...(gulp) 4 words?" I asked her, looking at her.

She did not say anything. She turned and faced me. She gave me a silent nod. So quiet yet so powerful. My heart has somehow changed from beating super fast to stopped beating. It's like my whole world has stopped. She nodded, I thought. She really nodded.. Actions are mightier than words.. This time I rubbed my eyes. But she had finished nodding by then.

Aww jeez... I must've looked like a complete idiot.. Unable to believe what I just saw, I had a weird look on my face. I put this face on very often whenever something weird happens. Something extraordinary, something special, something unexpected... Something like this..

"I'm very sorry, Kevin..." Yen Pin said, before walking off.

Oh great.. Another 4 words sentence.. That's just great man... I was shocked, stunned, I did not make any movement after she rejected me and walked off. I just stood there staring in front of me.. I stared in silence. Thinking again. Thinking very very deeply.. I'm screwed.. I had been staring at him unknowingly..

He was there, staring at me. With an evil grin, an evil smile. With a cane in his hand. Yep, he was my teacher. Apparently, I had not noticed his existence, his appearance.. Shits, I waved at him and smiled.. Service with a smile, I kept telling myself..

"Good morning, teacher..." I was counting my last few minutes. My days were numbered..

"Good morning, Kevin.." He smiled even wider this time..

"Err... heh heh... Err... how long... (gulp) have... (gulp) you been here?" I did not know how such bravery overtook me. Asking this question would certainly quicken my death sentence..

"Oh.. I'm not sure, as far as I know... Since erm, I can't tell.. Since she told you that she had 3 words to say to you, I suppose..." Ha ha... That's just great.. Ha ha... I need a coffin, XL size, I thought. I want flowers, Cauliflowers I hope, and Astro, and credit cards... Credit CARDS... notice the 'S'? I want to live a luxurious life in my afterlife..

The teacher had great hearing abilities.. He was like a bat, able to tell what you've said by listening to you from a distance..

"I happened to have this piece of paper with me, you know?" He continued, holding a piece of crumpled paper in his hand..

Hey, that looks familiar... Where have I seen it before... Hmm, I can't remember..

"What's inside that paper?" I had to ask, so that I know what it was.. I had to ask. Why did I have to ask...

"Well, if you must know, it goes like this:

"Dear Yen Pin,

I'm de boy sittin somehwere in d row on yaw rite. I'm Kevin. I sure u r surprise by dis paper. I deno when i start like u. But i reli do. ur smile vely cute. I like see. :) Wud u like b my girlfwen?"

Any idea what this paper is now? Anything that has refreshed your memory..." He asked sarcastically.. How the hell did that paper get into his hands.. Oh my god! I'm done for... Wait... Keke.. I know.... what to do...

"Yeah, teacher.. It certainly reminds me of something.." I smiled..

"And what is it?" He looked at me, expecting an honest answer.

"It reminds me to.........run!!" After finishing my sentence, I grabbed my bag and ran as fast as I could, away from him... I sprinted like a 100 Meter runner.. The teacher did gave chase, but I'm younger, there's no chance that he's going to be able to outrun me... I jogged down the road, laughing out loudly at myself...

"Ha ha... Ha ha... I'm so screwed tomorrow.. He is teaching for the first two periods..." I'm so screwed.. My last request:
-Coffin, minimum XL size
-Astro
-Bungalow
-Credit Cards
-Porsche
-Laptop

and

-Hope that the teacher forgets about this tonight... XP

And that!! And that was what happened when I told a girl I like her...
4 words for you now...
HOPE YOU HAVE ENJOYED
HOPE YOU HAVE LAUGHED
HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY NOW
HOPE YOU HAVE SMILED
HOPE YOU'VE BOUGHT COFFIN
but
I AM VERY SORRY
I WON'T BE USING
I'M VERY MUCH ALIVE
KEEP IT FOR YOURSELF
remember
NEVER TELL A GIRL
THAT YOU LIKE HER
THE WAY I DID
^^
THIS IS THE END...

I cant continue my story yet...

2007-07-12T22:26:00.000+08:00

You know, at first i wanted to continue with my story.. But after reading Xin Lin's blog.. i cant help but to change my mind..

XIN LIN, i noe YE is dam stressful.. I noe its hard to keep up or cope with the pressure.. But with great power comes great position. Dere's no one better than u at de job. U hav taken it, knowin tat u'll be facing many problems and tat u will hav to handle most of de tings generally..

And just exactly like you, i really do prefer my Form 3 life. Tat was de time to enjoy n everythin, without much worries.. But even so... I'd ask u.. "so wat?" "it has been a year.. I had live with excitement and joy.. But now's the time for me to grow. To accept more challenges, to conquer every new difficulties, to take full responsibility as someone hu's playin an important role, to be responsible for my actions, TO MATURE... I hav learnt tat, no matter how, u cant go bak to de past.. Face de future.. Face de present.. Its now which is more important, not de past. One day in de future, we'll sit somewhere and laugh ourselves off tokin bout de past, tokin bout 3A2... Dose were de days. Dey're over, we cant change dem.. All we can do is remember de joy, tears, excitement, jokes and MEMORIES..."

Now bout S.Y.... hav u used de ting i suggested? Look forward to sumtin tat'll make u laff, smile, be HAPPY of. I noe mayb its too soon to do so. but de sooner u do it, de better... Like i said, S.Y.=history... S.y.=de paragraph just above dis. U hav to figure out a way to rid urself of dis memories.. Be brave n tough. I can tell u miss Alwyn.. But i cant tell u wat to do... Just do wat u tink is rite.. N wat i tink iz rite is to 4get S.Y. ASAP...

But i'd like to comment on ur hair today... It was.... It was... weird to look at... Somehow i find it rather funny.. Not juz me, i'm sure... Heh Heh... But let me tell u, keep it up dis way, find way to entertain urself.. Mayb u shud come wif makeup or lipstick next time... ^^

Telling A Girl I Like Her (part 1)

2007-07-10T21:46:00.000+08:00

I flipped to the next page without anymore hesitation. I needed to remind myself of my past more than taking a bath.. And so I flipped...

Telling A Girl I Like Her

As a kid, I've always wondered how I ever failed to attract the girl that I liked.. At some point in every boy's life, they would fall for a girl. Perhaps not one, but that differs from people. Well, it certainly wasn't me. I was Loyal... Till the end. Heh heh.. I'm sure for all those guys out there, you know that girls are the hardest to satisfy.. Example:
-If you like her, show attention.. Too much attention, she thinks that you own her. Too little attention, she thinks you either don't care or you're gay.
-Suprise her with presents. Too many presents, she thinks you're rich. Little or no presents, she thinks you're stingy or not committed enough.
-Take her out. The slightest glance at another girl and she'll think you're not loyal. Not looking, she'll think that you are gay.
-Talking to her. Knowing most of her problems, you're suppose to solve it for her. Knowing none or little of her problems, you're suppose to be the reason for the break-up.

Like listed on the above, all girls have different satisfaction. There's many more, but I don't want to go on. Cause if I do, I will have no more sense of protection from girls.. Like I already am now..

When I was small, Standard 5 with all that cute and adorable face, zany attitude, I used to like a girl in the same class as me. Her name was Yen Pin.. Still is actually.. I have absolutely no idea why or when I started liking her, but all I can tell you is, I really really liked it when she smiles. Whenever she smiles at someone or at me, I'd stare for a while. I'd feel jealous when she laughs at someone elses joke. Really jealous. I'd sulk and I'd think of a better joke to compete with. Jealousy was my greatest policy. It happens when you've really fallen for a girl.

I am sure by this point she would've noticed my existence. I've made many jokes and dumb actions in front of the class every now and then. She may not have been pretty but she surely did took my heart away with her. Weird huh. But that's not important now. I need to let her know that I like her.

I've had ideas. I'll tell you what it was and how dumb it was.
1. Get punished in class and attract her attention. Then write out "I like Yen Pin" the board.
2. Send her winks, let her figure out for herself. >.o
3. Throw paper airplanes. With hidden messages. (I totally did that, but it ended up with a guy picking it up. What made it worse was my name was on it, he just stared at me with a weird look, and all I did was look back at him and say,"Joking!" I faked a smile...)
4. Laugh when she tells a lame joke, talk to her more often.
5. Accidentally bang into her or stalk her.
6. Send her e-mail confessing.
7. Take her out for a movie or drink.
8. Pass notes to her. (Its alot safer than the plane thingy XP)

A chicken like me took the easiest way. Way number 8. Pass notes..
Muahaha, I'm a genius. Or so I thought.. I spent a day or two thinking on what I should write on the note. It has to be simple and sweet. It has to tell its meaning right away. And so, with ideas in my head, I wrote it down.

"Dear Yen Pin,

I'm de boy sittin somehwere in d row on yaw rite. I'm Kevin. I sure u r surprise by dis paper. I deno when i start like u. But i reli do. ur smile vely cute. I like see. :) Wud u like b my girlfwen?"

I was staring at her the whole time she was reading the note. My note. The confessions of a young, inexperienced boy. She looked at me a couple of times. I looked away every single time. She must really be touched. She should like me by now. I laughed at myself. Hehe, such innocence.

After school, I walked up to her. I put on the biggest smile on my face, beat that McDonald's... I looked at her. She had on the fakest smile, but who could tell. I was 11 years old only.

"I have 3 words to say to you..." Yen Pin told me. Oh great. What could it be? I love you? I like you? Thanks a lot? Aww, its nice? you're the first? It all sounds nice enough to me. My heart was beating at an unsually fast rate.

"Wait, I have 4 words to say to you first..." Trying to be smart, that's so me. "I...REALLY...LIKE...YOU..." I smiled as wide as I could. If it goes any wider, I'd stay like that for the rest of my life.

I was waiting for a reply. Something nice.

"Oh...really... Then I have 4 words for you too..." Yen Pin replied. Ooh.. Ooh.. Let me guess. I digged my brain inside out. The best I could think of was I like you too or I love you too. Wow, I can't wait to hear those 4 words come out of her mouth. My heart had began to melt...

Then, she opened her lips...

"I............" continued...

2007-07-10T16:12:00.000+08:00

Dear Diary

From today onwards, I've decided to make you my personal diary of special memorable events happening in my life rather than noting down things that I have borrowed from or lent to someone. I guess its a better way to spend time rather than noting down things that don't really concern.

After thinking for a long while, I've decided to name you Ayori, after my favorite Japanese name. So from now on, I'll be calling you Ayori, K?

So, I guess that that's all for today. I'll have to think of a topic now... So that I can fill you up.. See ya! Ayori!

And that was my first time writing in the diary. I stood up, brought my diary along with me downstairs. There's so many things I need to catch up on. Yet so little time. I ignored that thick layer of dust on me, switched on my music player and sat on the couch to continue reading the book. I'd have to take a bath soon, but only after reading this one topic. I thought.

My Naked Experience

Everyone has been naked some part in their lives. As I've noticed, babies weren't born without clothes. People strip before getting into a shower. Guys take off the shirt whenever it's too hot. Babes like it empty while getting their sun tan at the beach. And I really mean EMPTY... Last but not least, the satisfaction of our sexual desires. That's when you really go naked if you know what I mean...

Please do not get this wrong. I have not, so far, done any of those, except for bathing. I'm still young and a virgin. And I'm not one who likes to show off flabby muscles under the shirt. Except for bathing, other times I was always covered with something. Until one day. Till that one fine day.

Living in a hot country, where there's only 2 seasons compared to many other countries. China and USA for example, go through Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. Whereas I, who lived in a terrifyingly burning country, only go through burning hot season or flood season. Unlike Spring, these two seasons have no fixed time nor date. It can happen any time when we're least expecting it. Living in a city, with all the factories and pollution, doesn't that make the temperature increase by a lot? Certainly it does.

I've always laughed or teased at my father for being topless most of the time at home. Normally after he comes back from work, he'd go half naked. He'd always complain how freaking hot the day was. I for one, was blessed with air cond.. It is essential for every house. Not having one is like moving around in the desert, with hot gushes of wind blowing at our face. I'd swore once that I'd never take off my shirt, not even if it was freaking hot.

And then, on that one particular day, the power supply was cut. The government had planned to switch the wires with a new one. To do so, they needed to stop the power supply until they were done. I looked outside my window. They had just cut off the power supply. The fan was spinning slower and slower, the chicken pie in the oven is barely warm. There goes my brunch. Thanks a lot...

But you know what, I thought that by sitting down and remaining calm, I wouldn't feel hot. I picked a book from the shelf and read it on the couch. Guess what, I was totally wrong. I had started to sweat. Drops of sweat running down my back and my chest. I was feeling the heat. I could feel the burning sensation. I was being barbecued. With climates as hot as this, who needs global warming...

Drops of sweat had already soaked pages in the book. I decided to put the book down and take off my shirt. But first, I checked my surroundings. Mom and dad's gone to work. There's only me now. Nothing to worry about. So, I took my shirt off unwillingly. It had started to feel cooler a bit. A bit. Don't get me wrong, my shirt was rather thin, so by taking it off it only made a slight difference...

I feel thirsty, I need a drink. I moved away from the couch and made my way towards the kitchen. As I walked my way towards the kitchen, I noticed a movement on my right. I turned. I stared and I was shocked. Oh my God! How can this be! Jesus Christ!

"Dear Lord!" I said.

Looking in front of me was an image of myself. I was looking into a mirror. I had never ever noticed that I was so skinny. Boys from my school had either 6 packs or just one. I none. All I could see were rib cages sticking out like bones against a skin. I was as skinny as an African Kid. Jeez, no wonder why my mom wants me to drink oil...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Son, I think it's best if you just drank oil. You seriously need to get fatter a bit!!" My mom once said.

"But Mom! I'm already fat! (showing the excess skin on my arm) If I get any fatter I will look like an whale!" I told her back.

"You're one tenth of a whale. You're already underweight. You're nothing but skin and bones. You won't taste very nice..."

"Well, no one is going to eat me.."

"Don't bet on it... Go on if you like it your way. If the doctors can't find a vein to poke under all that skin, you will die..." She warned me.

"Yeah, yeah!" I ignored most of what she had said.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I tried to pinch myself. But could not find any fats to pinch. The sudden alarm of the phone ringing distracted my attention from the mirror.

"Hey Kevin... It's Mabel. It's so hot? Why don't we go somewhere else?" It was Mabel, my neighbour. My saviour for the time being. I needed to get out, staying in the house was no use.

“Oh ok sure. Give me a minute, I’ll be out soon.”

“No it’s ok. I’m outside your house anyway.”

Yikes! I repeat. Yikes!

I tried to slow her down, I placed the phone against my ear. Nothing. The phone line was dead. She had ended the conversation.

“Kevin, I’m here!” I could hear here. She definitely wasn’t joking. She’s just outside.

I ran to the door without any shirt on. I hid my body behind the door, showing just my face to Mabel.

“Hey, are you ready yet?” she asked.

“Erm, halfway there. Can you give me a minute? Seriously...” My face was red.

“Aww, come on...” Mabel grabbed my hand and pulled me.

I lost my balance and struggled to maintain it. And when I was standing straight, I realized that Mabel wasn’t looking my way anymore. She was facing the back with both her hands covering her face. I looked down, oh right... I forgot... I totally went to grab a shirt.

“I’ll be done soon...” I reassured her.

“O........K.....” She replied, without looking back.

Jeez, that was very embarrassing. I’ve never felt so humiliated before. Naked, in front of a girl. What’s worse was that she was Mabel. All my dignity was lost.

After putting my shirt on, I went out with Mabel. We went to a coffee shop. The fan there was working because of the power generator. Thank god. Sitting down at a table for two, we both chatted.

“You know, you really are skinny...” She blushed.

“I... I realized... But so are you...” Well, in reality I was skinnier than her.

“Ha ha... Just don’t do that again. Ok?” Mabel blushed even harder.

“Ha ha, I’m sorry. I promise I won’t...”

But yet, I still did. Just not in front of anyone... I did it SECRETLY...

Xin Lin...

2007-07-10T15:10:00.000+08:00

Hey Xin Lin... I've done as u've asked. And i'm very sorry after all tat i've read... I truly am.. You're not lost nor alone... You hav many frens tat care for u... And i reli mean alot.. You cant always tink tat u're alone. You always tink tat u're handling tings alone... Well, tat's only partially true... 0.o Do u tink u've fallen into de USELESS GIRL category? Well, i dun... Neither will anyone.. I juz tink tat u've fallen into de DEPRESSED category... Its just tat u arent able to cope up wif all de tings tat r comin ur way.. Tat nvr means tat u're useless... Wat has to happen will happen some time.. Tat's wat i believe.. It only depends on how u managed it.. Xin Lin, u've always been doing fine.. Why suddenly break down? Izit becoz of YE? Alwyn? SY? or iz it jus in ur head... Tink bout it.. Has SY moved on? I definitely say yes..its time u do de same... And i don't tink its pathetic chairing meetings.. I tink it shows tat u hav taken alot of burden n responsibility n i very much respect u for tat.. I've alwayz paid attention to wat u hav said.. I dun tink tat dere's any other person hu could've managed YE tat well like u.. Nvm de Kia Wee n Choon Hiang case.. Dose were jus rare occasions, dissatisfaction only..

Xin Lin, hav somethin to look forward too.. Like me, i look 4ward to playin my com every day after skul.. It helps me pass by my hours ezier. I look 4ward to be dutyin in de library. Coz not only iz dere air cond, it also contains most of my frens, my teammates.. And lastly, look 4ward to sumtin tat'll make u happy, make u smile under any circumstances.. EveryDay i wait patiently for Friday Nite.. So tat i could see de person i like.. Seein her makes me smile... On days like Mondays, i tell myself :" I'm just 4 days away..." tell tings like dis to urself n smile even thou it may sound dam stupid.. Or smile becoz its dumb.. :-)

Triple XL, hehe.. no one iz disappointed in u... Dere's jus disagreement only. Dere hasn't been any reason to be disappointed in u.. If dere was, i wud be de 1st... LoL ^^... Alwyn, perhaps could be a little.. but give him sum time, let him figure it out. De damage has been done. Dere's nothing tat can be done to heal de scar.. Not even time... I remember cutting myself once.. Not reli deep, but hell it hurt alot.. De scar is still dere even after all dis years.. Wat i can do is let de new skin grow, take de place of de missing skin and take care of it.. Dere's nothing i can do to change it. De image has been demolished yet it can be reconstructed as long as one has forgave.. I forgave "myself" for cutting "myself".. Once one has learnt to 4give, de forgiven shall feel glad n happy..

As much as i hate writing dis essay, everyone's life has been moving.. Some moves by de hour. Mine by de minutes. Urs by de seconds.. Diff ppl move with diff rates, but we're movin at tat rate becoz we're best at it, Xin Lin.. We control de rates.. When n if u feel its too taxing, reduce ur seconds to minutes.. I like to take it slow n ez, but fast at times when i hav too.. I like to keep my studies in skul n fun, relaxation at home.. But i wud like to keep my frens wif me wherever i go..
Totally out of topic... XP

Real frens cherish each other, share deir probs.. Tat's wat u hav de most, Xin Lin.. U hav many frens tat'll share ur sad moments.. Me? I hav only.. I can count with one hand.. U may tink i laff around, joke around very often. But dere's a sad part of me tat many nvr noe, and i prefer to keep it a secret among a few ppl only.. Understand situations before getting too involved, tat's wat i'm trying to say..Tat's my advice.. In ur case, i suggest u shud be more aware of tings happening around u.. Yes, u hav too.. My suggestion, when it rains, take alook outside... (not durin lessons, i mean at home) look at de ppl passing by. Slowly ur mind will stroll to ur probs n from dere, its ezier to tink of a solution..

Dun giv up on urself yet.. Wait till i giv up on u first.. no la, JokING!! Life has seriously not ended, u're juz not prepared to handle stress n issues.. Me too... Blek, but i nvr reli bother, i juz take de tasks one at a time.. Shovel me wif stress n anythin else n i'll direct dem rite back at u once i'm done.. i believe in de word EQUALITY I believe for everythin tat u've done, u'll get somethin in return.. Do ur best for YE, as head n manager of AXCELLOR.. Do ur best in ur studies, as a student n for ur parents.. Do wat u tink is best for Alwyn n SY, as i deno dem as well as u nor m i de love doctor "Hitch"... Don't play mind games in ur head, as it'll only make u worry more n give u more stress.. Don't ever hesitate to help or get help from a fren, as dey'll help or ask for help from u in de future.. (i love helpin frens) >.< Don't ever turn down anyone, unless u reli cannot manage to complete de task, as u shall not be trusted by dem de next time... Alwayz alwayz share ur frens ur prob, as if u didn't tell me, i wudn't noe ur probs, i wudn't hav reli bothered for u and i reli wudn't hav spent so much time on dis BLOG!! Hope u appreciate my sacrifice of TIME!!

Xin Lin, U R WAT U R.. DERE'S NO NEED TO CHANGE TO SUIT ANYONE ELSE.. ITS U TAT WE LIKE DE MOST, DE HAPPY CHEERFUL ONE, NOT DE ONE HU STRESSES UP ALOT AND FRUSTRATES.. WE LIKE U 4 HU U R.. SO JUZ CONTINUE BEING URSELF.. COZ TAT'S WAT U'RE BEST AT... ^.^

Diary of a Boy (Prologue)

2007-07-08T21:38:00.000+08:00

I was happily day dreaming when the sound of the phone ringing broke the silence. Wait, what am I doing in the attic here? Oh yeah, I forgot, I was suppose to clear it up... Oh jeez, haha... I stood up and rushed downstairs to get the phone. On my way down, I accidentally knocked onto the shelf and all the collected dust over the years came pouring down over me. I choked and choked, trying to find a breath of fresh air. Nevertheless, I held my breath and picked up the phone.

"Hey, Kevin! Just to remind you to come to my party tonight!" Said Calvin.

"Aww, dude! You just reminded me about like.... what.... 30 minutes ago?? You know what you got me into? (cough)" I felt like strangling him.

"Woh, woh... What's up with you bro? Better take some medicine, I'm having Fried Chicken Wings and lotsa fried stuff."

"Dude, you told me that the first time you called!! Argh, for god's sake, I'm covered in a pile of dust now! Call me back only when you have something important! K!?" I said it with a high tone.

"Ok, ok dude... Relax... Sorry, better take a bath before you come... I don't want any dust all over the floor or the food... Ha ha..."

"Yeah, screw you.." I slammed the phone.

I went back up to the attic.. Got to get it cleared first. I was keeping everything inside a box when I saw something that caught my eye... It was covered in dust, yet I could feel that it is a part of me.. Something that I've not done for a very long time, something that I couldn't keep up with ever since I moved to this new house... I blew out the dust away from the cover. Used the spare cloth that I had brought along with me to wipe off the dirty layer of remaining dust and stared. It read:

Kevin's Amazing Moments

It's my good old diary!! This was a very special diary. Most people write down happening events of a day in every page. But I, am different. I write down events which happened through a very long time. Special events that were very meaningful and funny. I wonder what it was... It had been so long after all... I took a sit among all the other dusty objects around me, trying to forget about taking a shower, switched on the attic light and opened the first page of My Age Old Diary...

WeiRd FaCts

2007-07-06T22:26:00.000+08:00

> >>>>If you yelled for 8 years, 7 monthsand 6 days you would have producedenough sound energy to heat one cup ofcoffee.(Hardly seems worth it.)
> >> >> >If you farted consistently for 6 yearsand 9 months, enough gas is producedto create the energy of an atomic bomb.(Now that's more like it!)
> >> >> >The human heart creates enoughpressure when it pumps out to the bodyto squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)
> >> >> >A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (Inmy next life, I want to be a pig.) Metoo!
> >> >> >> >A cockroach will live nine dayswithout its head before it starvesto death. (Creepy.) (I'm still notover the pig.)
> >> >> >> >Banging your head against a walluses 150 calories a hour (Don't trythis at home, maybe atwork)
> >> >> >The male praying mantis cannotcopulate while its head isattached to its body. The femaleinitiates sex by ripping the male'shead off. (Honey, I'm home. Whatthe...?!)
> >> >> >The flea can jump 350 times its bodylength. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.(30minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
> >> >> >> >The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.(What could be so tasty on thebottom of a pond?)
> >> >> >> >Some lions mate over 50 times aday.(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
> >> >> >> >> >Butterflies taste with their feet.(Something I always wanted toknow.)
> >> >The strongest muscle in the body isthe tongue. (Hmmmmmm......)
> >> >> >> >Right-handed people live, on average,nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do yousplit the difference?)
> >> >> >Elephants are the only animals thatcannot jump.(Okay, so that would be a goodthing)
> >> >A cat's urine glows under a blacklight. (I wonder who was paid to figurethat out?)
> >An ostrich's eye is bigger than itsbrain.( I know some people like that.)
> >Starfish have no brains(I know some people like that too.)
> >> >> >> >> >> >Polar bears are left-handed. (If theyswitch, they'll live a lot longer)
> >> >> >> >Humans and dolphins are the onlyspecies that have sex for pleasure.(What about that pig??)
> >> >> >Now that you've smiled at leastonce,
> > it's your turn to spread thesecrazy
> > facts and send this to someone you> > want to bring a smile to, may be even a
> > chuckle.
> >> > In other words, send it to
> > everyone ! (and God love that pig!)

Frisbee COmpetiTion

2007-06-30T22:54:00.000+08:00

Today mornin i went 4 Frisbee competition at UM... Walau, i never tot got so many dam pro ppl dere man... OmG!! Walau-eh... I cant imagine it, i was very frighten when it came to playin wif dem.. U hav no idea.. Every1 one of dem is as strong or better den William.. Makes me feel dam puny. But no matter!!! We still won 2 matches n lost 1.. We beat Inti n Taylors but lost to UiTM.. But still it was a very good experience for me..

Stock Exchange was Fun

2007-06-26T21:04:00.000+08:00

Walau, dese 2 days hav been filled wif fun n excitement. Dam Syok la wei, but still dam tirin. WALAu, i cant stop sayin tat, i'm so amazed n excited.. I'm too high about it...

I teamed up wif Xin Lin n Wei Quan for de stock challenge..

Tian Yuan, Choon Lim n Samuel, de awesome three who won de overall champions were a great team.. I'm happy for u guyz... Dam chunted la u Guyz!! ^.^ belanja makan ar!

de words above were put in big, coz i'm jealous u guyz won n u guyz noe wat 2 do la.. 0.O

Jie Yi, Ee Lynn n Hua Yen were a team, and

Wei Ruen, Hui Ying n Jia Pei were another..

de followin words were made huge so tat reader's will feel dam JEALOUS!!

De best part was havin McDonald's for lunch 4 both days. First day had Fries n Burger only, 2nd day had BananaPie, ApplePie, 2 Nuggets, n 1 Burger.. How nice! Most importantly, dey're all free!!! ^_^ KAKAKAKAKA... Durin de whole time, de girl sittin at de table behind was another tuition mate of mine. Friday night BM's tuition.. Nicole. Ha ha, wat a small world. Our brokerage name was Wizards' Wheezes.. Name tot by Wei Quan, obviously.. Muahaha.. De ppl behind us, Nicole's group were de street mimes.. Dam cool, shud've taken a pic wif dem.. Jie's group were surfs up! We're Sexy, sumtin sumtin.. =.=' I cant remember. Choon Lim's was Cash Formers. Cool leh!! Wei Ruen, sorry but i cant remember urs.. I noe it has sumtin 2 do wif Star Warsss, but ish, i cant remember de name. First time i've been so crazy. Ha-ha.. Feel dam syok, but now nid go bak skul liao.. Haiz... Sad Man..

2day was fun

2007-06-24T21:20:00.000+08:00

2day mornin, went bball...Nobody else came, exep 4 huan xian n her big bunch of frens... Man, me n chengda joined dem n thrashed dem... But dere was dis fren of Huan Xian's hu was a bit pretty.. i admit.. But i lz 2 ask 4 her number... LOL... After tat, went to 1U... Walau, thx 2 BoBo n Xin Lin for comin late, i had 2 belanja Hui Ying a hot choc... RM6... T.T... Wats worse was havin lunch at CHILLI'S... If i told my parents how much it costs.. Dam, will dey kill me... 5 of us, RM191++ walau-eh.. Burn a big hole in my wallet.. T.T T.T T.T... Luckily, me, Hui Ying n BoBo din hav 2 go watch ALONE wif Xin Lin n Alvin.. We were on our own... We went to many shops sellin toys n CD's.. We went to S & J's.. dere were so many cool tings dere... Man, i tell u.. Dere was dis Coke tat was actually a phone.. Dere's a wire tat can b attached to it, n den dere's numbers to press under de COKE.. Who wud hav tot of tat.. Walau... Dam Yeng..

So i ended up goin bak thru BoBo's dad... Den i went to park, tok 2 chengda and a few more ppl, includin YY.. den tat's de end liao ba...

Today dam sad...

2007-06-22T22:01:00.000+08:00

Dis mornin i got alot of SHYT from LPS... Becoz of de dam Magazines... I was de middleman for YE and LPS... Deng, i kena marah summore.. Where got keadilan huh?? Tat gave me a really bad headache.. I took a panadol actifast and slept off de last period... Thank god Miss Ong let us free tat time.. Muahaha... After tat pula, went play frisbee.. Even thou i scored 6-7, de frisbee hit my face... oR rather my MouTh.. My TeeTh was BleeDing and Now It'S sWoLLen... Not badly, but its irritating!! OMG, now my sorethroat is bak... Thx to de KFC for lunch summore... JEeZ...

So dam Busy leh...

2007-06-21T19:04:00.000+08:00

Walau, dam bz man... Next monday and tuesday need go sumwhere for de Axcellor tingy... Sum sort of Stock exchange program... Nicole Kwan said it is dam fun.. I hope so ba... So tat means i'll be missing skul for 2 days... How cool iz tat!! ^^ exam results also dun nid to noe... Dam freakin nice la wei.. Besides tat, i hav alot of tings too.. Goin 1U dis Sunday. Going for camp in 6 July.. LPS camp, den 14 July nid go to Berjaya Times Square.. Rather busy huh... sad... No time to play...

2day was Cool.. O.o

2007-06-18T20:45:00.000+08:00

Yo, today was so fun... Even thou i had a headache since mornin, round 10am... but it wasn't tat bad... Today during PJPK exam, ShiMin took off his metal plate from de table and bent it... We were all staring like WTH? Lukily de teacher din c, or he'd b given zero for de test... LoL... Den, after skul, me n jiaDa played Gunbound... Totally cool.. I thrashed him.. Mayb coz i'm more skillful, or coz i get better mobiles, or becoz i got de lucky last shot... Muahaha.. Anyway i was in total dominance... HeHe...

At night, which is now, i straited tings wif Yik Ying,... so it's not so bad.. Mayb dis headache is useful at times... Haha.. Right now i'm chattin wif Joey, my so called Kai Mui which is a fren of Mabel... LoL.. Dun ask me Y... or how...

I hAvE nO aNsWeRs..!!¡¡ ·

Lost Interest liao, Hpy Bday TXL!!

2007-06-16T21:53:00.000+08:00

Recently i hav lost interest liao. I hav lost all interest in chattin wif my Kai Mui, YY... I dun understand y, its not fun nor interestin liao... Its a DAM WASTE OF MY TIME AND MONEY!! one more time... I'M DUN FEEL ITS WORTHY TOKIN WHEN DERE'S NO SINCERITY IN CHATTIN...!!

She's always busy... Ok fine, i cant blame her on tat.. Its ok... I can understand.. But wanting to chat wif me... Den after tat reply wif only 2-3 word smses... WTH is her prob!? Where got ppl hu wan to chat reply wif only so few words when i ask questions or tell stuff... Arent dey de one hu feels like chattin? Find a topic la Godamit.. Deng... I dun tink she's sincere at all... Hurts me.. And we used to chat like we were very close 3 months bak, every Sunday nite.. Luckily now dere's MAbel... She's so much better den YY... MOre caring, askin how i am... She even wanted to help me wif my PJPK folio... Even thou she din really, well, help... she at least asked and did not giv up when i say dun wan to bother her... Jeez, i'm lucky to hav a Kai Mui like her... But she wun let me see her lor... Well, not actually. She say she wok pass me many times in library, jus tat i din pay attention... So dum la me... T.T i will pay more attention.. HEHE!¡!¡

If me n Louise den was 100% bro n sis, den Mabel falls 2nd wif 80%, Yoke Mun wif 70%, Yik Ying wif 50%... See? Even Yoke Mun scores higher den YY even thou i hardly tok to her in skul... Fan Gan, in english means opposite feelings... Tat's wat i'm startin to feel... But wat de heck, i'm goin out wif Xin Lin n Jia Pei n a bunch of gang to 1U next Sunday... 11am-4pm... Tat's great.. XP dun wanna spoil my mood... Thx Mabel for today... ^_^ n Happy B'day, XIN LIN... Even thou i wanted to giv u a very special present which will definitely make u happy, but de stupid mailman ask me to get out of de MailBox... ^.^sry.

Its Ur B''day..

2007-06-15T22:35:00.000+08:00

Wow... its ur b'day finally.. Luckily i checked out ur blog not long ago.. Otherwise i wudn't hav known... But now tat i do, lets celebrate it huh... Let's go 1U ba... Like u said, lets invite a lot of ppl... Den i dun nid waste so much money buy present... Can all share... Muahahaha... Jz jokin la.. Anyway, to u-- Xin Lin, happy B'day.. Its ur b'day tomoro, i noe... But it doesn't hurt to say it earlier... ^^ For dose of u hu noe her, remember to wish her happy b'day ya... Dun b selfish.. Ha ha..

Anyway, todays exam was not hard, but nid write alot of crap... Bloody waste of time and strength... Mayb dey shud shorten de time and add objective questions instead of subjective.. Dum teachers.. LOL...

Anyway, cheers to all my frens, families and enemies..!! Oooppss.. haha..

My 2nd Blog of De Day

2007-06-14T22:26:00.000+08:00

I Want To Be Forgiven

I chatted wif Yi Ran tonite.. It was a chinese conversation thru sms... But tat's not de point... Mayb it's still savable.. Not all is lost.. Dere's still chance ba...
i'm blogging now to tell my feelings.. I wan to release a bit so i dun feel so stressed inside..

I reli, reli hope everything turns back to normal... I deno if it wud.. But it's worth a shot...

--Did I run away becoz dose tears hurt me?

--People talk about crying from
happiness. It's not really happiness
that makes the tears. It's everythin
at once, everything that's good, sad
and wonderful all at once, except that
the things that are wonderful mean so
much more than the sad things.

--There are a few things which are
hard to say and do. It's hard to say
Sorry, I Love You, I Miss You, I Want
You. It is hardest to Hug the person
you love, to Hold Hands with them, to
tell them how much you Appreciate them.
Jie, I'm sorey and I MISS YOU...¡!

Livable Day...

2007-06-14T19:43:00.000+08:00

Today was not so painful... BC & BI... both of which didn't seem so hard to me like Physics and Add Maths did... Tank God... Anyway my mum juz got a new phone... She upgraded her Nokia 3315 to a Motorola wif VGA cam... Still lousier den mine... Muahahaha... I'm so damn evil!!

So sad... Last nite only chatted a while wif Yee Munn... N chatted bout nth interestin wif Yik Ying... Oh ya, i asked Jie Yi dis mornin, she said tat de person on de left was alot more cuter den Yik Ying... haha, i tink so too.. Jie, u r alot more cuter when u giv tat dumb face... XP

Great Success

Anyway... I just want to say... Tank dear god.. Sry if i'm a free thinker, and i dun reli beliv tat u're dere to help me everytime.. But i still noe u're dere... Out dere.. Sumwhere... Lookin down on us like ants..

Anyway, readin Xin Lin's blog... Chow for now...

Holy CoW!! So Hard!!

2007-06-13T14:40:00.000+08:00

Walau-eh... Today de Add Math's so freaking hard man... Even thou i had plenty of time to read... I really did have plenty of time.. I finished my EST 15 minutes, passed it up n studied my add maths.. Still, it was so hard.. Left many blanks, mostly in Section B... I tink i can only get 2 marks out of tat section.. TT wan cry liao man... I tink i got many subjects that i will fail... To see click dis...

So sad la... so many...
i wan jump off liao man... Next Year SPM deno how¡···!

Pursuit of Happy-ness

2007-06-12T16:54:00.000+08:00

We convince ourselves that life will be better once we are married, have a baby, then another.

Then we get frustrated because our children are not old enough, and that all will be well when they are older.

Then we are frustrated because they reach adolescence and we must deal with them. Surely we’ll be happier when they grow out of the teen years.

We tell ourselves our life will be better when our spouse gets his/her act together, when we have a nicer car, when we can take a vacation, when we finally retire.

The truth is that there is no better time to be happy than right now.
If not, then when?
Your life will always be full of challenges. It is better to admit as much and to decide to be happy in spite of it all.

For the longest time, it seemed that life was about to start. Real life.
But there was always some obstacle along the way, an ordeal to get through, some work to be finished, some time to be given, a bill to be paid. Then life would start.
I finally came to understand that those obstacles were life.

That point of view helped me see that there isn’t any road to happiness.
Happiness IS the road.

So, enjoy every moment.
Stop waiting for school to end, for a return to school, to lose ten pounds, to gain ten pounds, for work to begin, to get married, for Friday evening, for Sunday morning, waiting for a new car, for your mortgage to be paid off, for spring, for summer, for fall, for winter, for the first or the fifteenth of the month, for your song to be played on the radio, to die, to be reborn… before deciding to be happy.

Happiness is a voyage, not a destination.

There is no better time to be happy than… NOW!
Live and enjoy the moment.

Failed my test.!! wif Bulletin

2007-06-12T16:22:00.000+08:00

OMG!!... For de second time i tink i'm going to failed my test.. Physics.. So dam hard... De first time was history... Holy Cow!! GG man... Anyway, here's a bulletin... ^.^

Did you no that every nightb4 u go tosleep there is 1 person of theopposite sex thinking of you. theywant 2 kiss u, they want 2 b with u,they r always thinking about u, this is all true and not fake.....-----------------------------------------------------------------------------advice....
WHEN SHE ACTS SHY
-SAY I LOVE YOU
WHEN SHE RUNS AWAY FROM YOU
- CHASE HER
WHEN SHE PUTS HER FACE NEAR YOURS
- KISS HER
WHEN SHE KICKS & PUNCHES
- HOLD HER TIGHT
WHEN SHE IS SILENT
- SHE'S THINKIN OF HOW TO SAY I LOVEYOU
WHEN SHE IS SCREAMING STOP STOP
-DON'T.
WHEN YOU HUG HER
-HUG HER SOFTLY
WHEN SHE IGNORES YOU
- SHE WANTS ALL YOUR ATTENTION!
WHEN SHE PULLS AWAY
- GRAB HER BY THE WAIST AND NEVER LETGO
WHEN SHE FEELS SICK
-COMFORT HER!
WHEN SHE WALKS TOWARD YOU
-DON'T JUST HUG HER PAY ATTENTION TOHER!
WHEN YOU SEE HER AT HER WORST
- TELL HER SHE'S BEAUTIFUL!
*WHEN SHE SCREAMS AT YOU
- TELL HER YOU LOVE HER BUT MEAN IT
WHEN YOU SEE HER WALKING
-SNEAK UP BEHIND HER GRAB HER BY THEWAIST AND GIVE HER A KISS
WHEN SHE'S SCARED!!!!!!!!!
-HOLD HER AND TELL HER EVERYTHING WILLBE OK CAUSE SHE'S WITH YOU
WHEN SHE LOOKS LIKE SOMETHINGS THE MATTER
- KISS HER AND TELL HER NOT TO WORRY
WHILE SHE HOLDS YOUR HANDS
- PLAY WITH HER FINGERS

I solved one problem... haha... Great success..

2007-06-11T22:24:00.000+08:00

Hey, hu noes, i confronted my probs n finally, it didn't turn up so bad.. Me and Yi Ran are frens again... Mayb she's not my kai jie anymore, but hu cares... I'm happy!! In you face, Louise and Bo Yuan.. Jz Jokin.. thx 4 u guyz 4 comforting me den.. but now, haha... I managed my probs now.. Cool!! Recently, i found bak a very old photo.. About de Langkawi trip.. in Restaurant Tomato.. Losing in the game truth or dare, i had to tok to 2 tourists for5 minutes.. But i ended up makin frens wif dem and takin photos wif dem.. Here's de pic wif me, my gang n de tourists...
And exams is still on... Still findin ways to cheat... Ha ha... Jokin.. For once, mayb i learnt sumtin new... But i'm not tellin u... muahahaha... o.0

New Ppl added to my life...

2007-06-03T22:54:00.000+08:00

Recently, i hav 4 new ppl added to my life ba... 3 of whom are very new to me.. And one hu went to de same tuition in me last year althou she's younger den me by 2 years... Joey, Mabel, ZhiYing, Yee Munn... Personally, Zhi Ying is just a normal fren... A fren's fren introduced by YIk Ying.. Joey n Mabel, well, are my Kai Mui... New Kai Mui... All 3 of dem are F1... Same skul... Den Yee Munn pula, i shared my probs wif her regarding Yi Ran n me... Finally, i hav another person to share my probs to besides Bo Yuan, Yik Ying... I trust dem 2 de most, until now... I've added a third.. But she has her own probs too... She doesnt' really trust any1... Exep her good fren Poh Hua... Must b closest of frens huh... Dis is due to her being betrayed many times, as i found out... I tink i'll find a way to help her... Meanwhile findin a way to help myself too..
I... Hope...

When will it end...

2007-02-03T22:23:00.000+08:00

Jeeezzz...

Dere r many tings happenin around me... They are like endless electrons (form 4 chemistry) revolving around me night n day...
Good n bad... I dunno whether to list dem out or not...

A lot of them r posted on this blogging website...

I dun tink i shud release any details to any1 hu's viewing dis page at all...

Kimi-ga hitori janai (u're nvr alone)

Oredachi (so m i)

But seek me for help if u nid too... Any1 (boy, girl, gay,lesbian)

Every1, any1's a fren...

And if any1 has a good idea of wat kind of stuff i shud sell which is able to attract customers of all ages... Pls, i beg u, pls tell me ASAP!! Alikato Gozaimasu (thx)